It’s open interview season in law school. Aggressive 2Ls are already applying for summer 2013 positions, 3Ls are scrambling to figure out what to do with their lives and where to send their résumés, and on and off campus interviews are happening all the time.
Classmates in suits, excessive social media updates about “big kid jobs” or “getting a call back”, subtle (and not so subtle) questions about whether someone got an interview . . . it’s all awful. Job prospects seem dismal at best and the application process is no fun for anyone.
Having a five year plan is good, describing your five year plan in full to the future boss is usually less than ideal. For one, your plan might include plans to start a family, write the great American novel, or travel to every continent in the world. Whatever your interests, if it falls outside of work, you had better keep it to yourself, lest you give off the impression that you yearn for work-life balance. Furthermore, if your goal is to open up your own practice, switch to public interest, or open up a cupcake shop, then you are going to keep that goal to yourself. No law firm wants to hire someone who will use them and then leave them just when he becomes a valuable employee.
For the past six years, I’ve been able to successfully block out the incredibly mortifying and traumatic memories associated with my performance during the merciless cage fight of OCI. But the recent mini-parade of second-round interviewees through the halls of my office triggered a flashback, thereby unearthing my long-buried recollections. So I figured I might as well confront the trauma head-on and hopefully put the pain to bed forever. But in the course of reliving all of the excruciating mistakes I made during OCI, I realized that there were actual lessons that could be gleaned from each of my missteps. Here they are: Keep Reading ⇒
Pro Tip: Charles didn’t proofread his resume carefully, and used an en dash where he should’ve used an em dash. When the recruiting coordinator–a former copy editor–saw that error, it triggered a violent PTSD episode that resulted in two deaths! Now Charles lives in a cardboard box. You don’t want to be like Charles, do you?
Ex-Bitter has been answering reader questions since 2008 when a second-year associate asked for advice about what it takes to become a Hollywood agent. He’s been continuing his thankless task ever since, including answering this inquiry about rocking a George Clooney beard.
Time and time again I am reminded that lawyers are supposed to counsel their clients on the randomly stupid shit that they do to prevent them from getting into trouble. What we need more of is lawyers counseling lawyers on how to react when they have the opportunity to do something stupid. My gut reaction in most of these situations is to (1) swear loudly or (2) point and laugh. Unfortunately this is not always the advisable nor professionally prudent plan of action.
For the purposes of this column, I present you with several real life situations that I have found myself stuck in. I then give you a hint as to what I think I should have done… instead of what I did. Keep Reading ⇒
Frank: Theres 1 way to lose weight. Burn off more calories than you take in. I learned this in law school where we sat and ate... May 17, 8:10 PM
Hal: Suzanne, are you available for dating, or mating? May 17, 12:34 PM
lol cops are retarded: The kid updated with more information on Reddit "I am leaving a house party when a fight breaks out and a random 250lb guy hits... May 17, 11:10 AM
