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You read that right. Law Firm 10, whose dating, relationship, and associated exploits have graced Bitter Lawyer now for nearly four years, has offered to serve the Bitter Lawyer community of readers by providing invaluable advice in response to dating questions of all kinds. Beginning very soon, she’ll start doling out advice and opinions on any number of dating and relationship issues.
To send her a question, forward it to editor@bitterlawyer.com. Please include “Dating Q for LF10″ in the subject line.
It’s pretty hard to take the sting out of being rejected by a guy after a month or so of semi-serious dating, especially when the signs seemed to be indicating a reasonable likelihood of success. Sadly, I find myself in this situation a little too often, so by now I’ve got a system for dealing with my hurt feelings and bruised ego in the immediate wake of being rejected. It typically involves a great deal of drunken analysis, the focus of which is to compile a list of non-threatening answers to the question—”Why didn’t he want me?”—and I’ve had a lot of success with this approach for the past couple of years. Until recently, that is, since I’ve started to notice an alarming trend:
In three of my last four rejections, I concluded that the guy ended things with me because I intimidated him.
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I would hereby like to add another footnote to the ongoing annals of the differences between men and women (and this one truly astounds and befuddles me). Why is it that men are so incredibly comfortable letting everyone in the office know that they are heading into the bathroom to take a crap? This issue seems particularly salient to me right this minute because my office is on the path to the men’s room on the 29th floor. Which means that every single day, I am treated to the charming spectacle of an endless parade of men armed with what should be embarrassingly copious amounts of reading material marching proudly into the shitter.
Women, on the other hand, exhibit appropriate levels of modesty and discretion when it comes to such things. So much so, in fact, that I’ve coined a term to describe a frequently-encountered phenomenon in the women’s restroom at my office—Silent Poopers.
Allow me to describe. At least once or twice a week, I walk into the women’s restroom on my floor and observe the following:
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I have a friend who ran the New York Marathon this past weekend and, from my out of shape perspective, that’s an amazing accomplishment. Twenty six and two-tenths miles isn’t a short drive, let alone an easy run, and the mere task of training for a marathon is a grueling process. It’s been said that if you start to doubt yourself at mile ten, you are in trouble; if you start to doubt yourself at mile 20, that’s completely normal, as no human is supposed to actually run more than twenty miles in one time. And in order to finish the race, it’s you versus your mind. This allegory, to me, sums up the practice of law.
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A new Wall Street Journal article found a high number of corporate clients refusing to pay for first or second-year associate work. There were a couple of ideas thrown out as to how to solve this. One of them relating to adopting a UK-type apprenticeship program. I hate the British, and I don’t like the idea of us doing anything they do. Isn’t that why we drive on the right and put our door handles on the right? I figured I’d throw my hat in the ring with a few foolproof ways to solve this problem. Yes, I agree it’s a problem. First-year associates are almost entirely worthless, except for the attractive ones.
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This just in. BigLaw firms can increase their standing among overworked associates by 1) raising associate pay and 2) letting associates know what’s going on. In a recent American Lawyer profile, Foley Hoag partners and associates talk about how “increased communication” is one reason the firm moved up 92 places in an annual beauty pageant known as the associates survey. That, and “restoring” starting associate pay to $160,000. And moving other associate pay levels up to “market level.” With the pay bumps, American Lawyer offers up this startling conclusion: “[m]oney makes associates happy with their firms, too.”
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