QI’m a second year associate at a large firm. My work product seems to be well regarded and I get along with most folks in the office. I’m not one to knock life in BigLaw because I knew what I was getting into and it’s working out. Except that I now seem to be the butt of bad jokes and immature gossip. I’m a bit overweight and have been most of my life. I have large breasts for a guy and was shirtless at a summer social a year ago at a private beach. I assume that’s when the joking started. But I was unaware of it until a a few months ago when I walked into a conference room and one of the first year associates said, “hey, it’s the Bro,” obviously referring to me and the Seinfeld episode about Kramer’s invention of the mansierre. The room then fell horribly and awkwardly silent, informing me that I was essentially known as the Bro among associates and, who knows, possibly some partners.
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Law professors won’t tell their female students this, but one method some women use to get ahead in the corporate world has nothing to do with grades, professionalism, or hard work. Just fake boobs.
In a recent Bitter Lawyer poll, 58 percent of those asked said that implants could only help a woman’s career, the remainder of respondents were split on the matter. Just over 23 percent of those polled said such cosmetic changes were “irrelevant;” nearly 20 percent thought it was “career suicide.”
In this cramped job market, women boosting their looks to compete is now a trend. Looks play a role. According to the American Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, there were about 355,000 breast augmentations performed in the United States last year. A significant percentage of these patients were, in fact, female lawyers—or at least that’s what the plastic surgeons we consulted told us. While no doctor would identify their patients by name, they all confirmed “a decent percentage” of their clients were lawyers.
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