sex

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10 Ways Trials Are Like Sex

by Kate Currer on February 27, 2013 in Columns

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  1. Before you ever go to trial, you are super nervous about what it will be like, watch Law & Order, A Few Good Men, and Anatomy of a Murder to try to learn how to do it better.
  2. You hide the fact that you have never done your own trial. You assume you will mess something up and everyone there will be able to tell you are a rooky. Keep Reading ⇒


No need to watch Gossip Girl or 90210 to get your drama fix. Open up your family law case book to get all the sex drama you can handle.

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Post image for Tom Brady Probably Sucks In Bed

I inherited a lot of things from my dad: cooking skills, small hands, a bad temper—and a burning hatred for Tom Brady. I usually assume that everyone else hates Brady as much as me. But at the Super Bowl party I went to on Sunday, I had to suffer through hours of female Squawk & Awe over Brady’s hotness. None of the other girls could understand why I wasn’t trembling with desire along with them, though at the time, I didn’t feel like wasting my breath defending myself. Instead, I decided to list my reasons all at once, along with an evidentiary record. Here they are:

1He’s a loser. I mean, come on—Eli Manning just beat him again!
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Post image for Bitter Brief 21: Patent Law Reform, New York’s Dominatrix Lawyer, and Sentencing with Blago

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On this week’s Bitter Brief, Mark gets excited about Patent Law reform, we talk about a dominatrix lawyer who’s taking a beating, and we deconstruct federal sentencing with the help of Mark’s perennial example, Rod Blagojevich!

Click here to subscribe to The Bitter Brief on iTunes!

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Post image for 5 States Where Adultery is Still a Crime

Given the direction of national politics and headlines about Mark Sanford, John Ensign, and Arnold Schwarzenegger the pristine American institution of marriage, it got us wondering. Let’s say Rick Perry or Michelle Bachmann get elected and adultery makes a comeback. As a crime. What state would be best situated to start churning the wheels of prosecution? With at least a dozen states still criminalizing adultery (Wisconsin and Michigan actually make it a felony), we found five states where lawyers can have some fun parsing the relevant statutes and possibly prosecuting the law.
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Post image for Legal Humor Roundup for September 19, 2011

It’s one of those rare weak days for legal humor. Maybe it’s the Emmy Awards show hangover. Or just basic fatigue on the part of dumb criminals doing dumb things. Today, we mercilessly keep the dumb criminals away, unless you think it’s stupid to steal a 10-foot fiberglass giraffe. Or get baked as Elmo and tweet about it under the name “Qwikster,” the name Netflix now apparently wants to use for its DVD-by-mail service. Welcome back to the happy hour law review, this one for Monday, September 19, 2011.
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After subtracting the gay guys from the remaining pool of unattached male law students, I was left with little more than a handful of horrifying mutants to consider. In other words, the list of guys a relatively attractive girl sleeps with in law school is mostly comprised of non-classmates.

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Post image for Bitter Brief 17: Skinamax, Words with Friends, and the New WWITB Standard

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Things are buzzing on this week’s edition of The Bitter Brief!  Mark takes charge right away to opine on the legal merits of the What What in the Butt parody case, we talk about the latest fun way to procrastinate at work, and then things take a turn for the surreal. If you only listen to one legal humor podcast this week, make it this one! Fair warning, this week’s show is positively NSFW!

Click here to subscribe to The Bitter Brief on iTunes!

Post image for Bitter News, Week of August 1st, 2011

Here are your headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, where we review the news like a bus!

The Force is Strong With This One: The British prop designer who crafted the original Stormtrooper costumes for Star Wars, based on George Lucas’ own sketches, managed to defeat Lucasfilm in the UK Supreme Court and win the right produce replica outfits. His attorneys at Fox Williams LLP managed to successfully argue that the costumes were functional works rather than artistic ones, and therefore not subject to full UK copyright laws. However, the UK Court also ruled that the 2004 US decision that held him in violation of Lucas’ copyright also stands. So right now the prop designer is free to sell replicas in England but facing a $20m verdict if he ever returns to the US. Considering the bounty hunter Lucas’ been known to affiliate with, the prop designer should watch his back.

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Post image for From the Archives: Noel Biderman, King of Infidelity

Noel Biderman runs a dating service for married/attached people. Get that? He helps people cheat.