Unethical & Amoral

All’s Fair in Lust and Recruiting

by Matthew Richardson on February 24, 2010 in Columns

I was feeling particularly bored the other day. I had been working round-the-clock on a deal that was about to close. Hadn’t had sex in days. Hadn’t tasted a drop of booze in a week. And I think my favorite Mexican stripper, Luciana, was deported last weekend. Desperate for a cheap thrill, I did something [...]

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Cryingtown

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by Matthew Richardson on February 2, 2010 in Columns

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As much as I love being around women (and we know that’s A LOT), proximity to them within the confines of a law firm is a completely different story. All of my least favorite experiences as a lawyer come from dealing with women. Trumping the misery of working under an insecure, passive-aggressive coozebag of a Law Review [...]

Last of a Dying Breed (of Big Law Scumbags)

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by Matthew Richardson on January 15, 2010 in Columns

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Oh the irony. I returned from an extended lunch one day last month only to realize I had a meeting for my annual review that afternoon. After ditching out of work early the day before to meet up with a cute cocktail waitress from my old bar for a 6:10 showing of Up in the [...]

CLE: The Malignant Tumor of the Legal Profession

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by Matthew Richardson on December 3, 2009 in Columns

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As a nod to my upcoming CLE requirement deadline, I made a short list of things I’ve actually learned over the course of my big firm legal career.

The Wrong Side of the Bar

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by Matthew Richardson on October 29, 2009 in Columns

Around this time of year is when I take stock of my financial situation. Every year, its been kinda the same thing where I realize I spend as much as I make. By the time I pay student loans, rent on my pimped-out apartment, fancy dates, top-shelf bar tabs, premium cable channels and Thai massages, [...]

The Forbidden Law Firm Fruit

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by Matthew Richardson on October 15, 2009 in Columns

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Yes. I said it. Girlfriend. We’ve been dating for over four months, and I haven’t slept with anyone else yet.

That Partner Voodoo That I Do

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by Matthew Richardson on September 17, 2009 in Columns

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Dear Partners, I have a small request: Please stop driving associates crazy. Why? Because if you do, then we’ll all stop wishing death and harm on you and be more productive employees. At 6:30 PM last Tuesday, fed up with my gut expanding from Friday margarita benders and sedentary bouts induced by thin attempts to [...]

BigLaw Beyond Thunderdome

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by Matthew Richardson on August 18, 2009 in Columns

One Friday in July at around 3 p.m., I did something I hadn’t done in quite some time… I did NOT leave the office to drink a margarita. I can’t even blame it on a deal—I didn’t have much going on. Sticking around the office and putting in a full day’s work on a Friday [...]

Who’s the Man?

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by Matthew Richardson on July 28, 2009 in Columns

The idea a Big Firm is “one big family” is merely bulls#!t used to con Summers into selling their souls to our particular brand of sweatshop. To actually catch up with someone in a department other than “corporate stooges,” I have to plan time to get together off the clock and then figure out a [...]

Girl-on-Girl Crime

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by Matthew Richardson on July 8, 2009 in Columns

I don’t consider myself to be too much of a misogynist. Yes, I visit massage parlors and I watch the Spice channel, but when it comes to work, I think I treat almost everyone equally. Honestly, I don’t think BigLaw is nearly as much of a boy’s club as some industries. I truly believe that [...]