You don’t know where you’re bitterly going until you know where you’ve been. So, in honor of an eventful year in the universe of all things legal, we’ve decided to re-feature our most popular content pieces from 2009.
What best entertained Bitter Lawyers while the walls of BigLaw, law schools and law firms crumbled around them the last 12 months? Over the next week and a half, (in addition to some new content) we’ll be revealing which Advice From an Ex-Bitter question, Associate Abuse story, Bitter by Numbers list, Bitter Exclusive exposé, Interview with an intriguing lawyer and ex-lawyer, and Bitter Rant hoarded up the most attention.
LAW FIRM 10
The last year for LF10 has been…neurotic. The lengths our Chicagoan female associate goes to, trying to balance the dryness of lawyer life with the barren drought of her love life, have showcased the hilarious proclivities of being a single chick with a JD. We witnessed her fall from being the BigLaw Erin Andrews in 2008, to this year’s desperate dating service queen.
1. How to Lose a Non-Lawyer Boyfriend
Revealing to men that you’re mentally playing the reality game show “Who Wants To Make Me a Millionaire Stay-at-Home Mom” doesn’t always work out in a girl’s favor.
2. Dangerous E-aisons
Giving a “balding, overly confident, married equity partner” an inch means he’ll take a mile—by bombarding a girl with a mile-long, sexually harassing email exchange. Can’t anyone decipher between professional attentiveness and flirtation anymore?
3. Your Women’s Initiative Sucks
Why don’t more female lawyers realize that law firms’ Women’s Initiatives are for the fugly and awkward?
We don’t call Matthew Richardson “Unethical & Amoral” for nothing. As an M&A associate at a big New York firm, he epitomizes everything you love / hate / love to hate about that one associate who always takes rules and norms and fucks them up for his own hedonistic pleasure. This guy will dip his pen in the company ink—or any ink, for that matter—even if it’s a really objectionable inkwell.
1. Padding Hours: If I Did It
Sometimes the lines between “bill” and “bilk” get blurred. Theoretically.
2. I Like Summers
What’s the point of having female Summer Associates if they don’t get nude and hook up with one of the male associates for a few nights of drunken sex?
3. You’re Fired… I’m Sorr—Jealous
Being laid off only sucks if you don’t think of it as an opportunity to reclaim your frat-tastic lifestyle and head down to Cancun for Spring Break.