5The Drifter. Half the time he doesn’t even know he’s in law school; the other half he’s high. To him, law school is another three…maybe four…years of delaying the dreaded “real world.” In every court opinion, he can see how The Man keeps him down.
Lucy v. Zehmer: “WTF, man! You can’t take his farm! He was drunk, and he wrote the contract on an f-ing receipt man! That’s just messed up.”
Leonard v. Pepsico: “Oh yeah, corporate America offers a harrier jet thinking no one is going to accept. Then Joe Everyman gets enough Pepsi Points to buy it, and what do they do? They f-ing take it back. WTF, man?! And the law just lets it happen?”
After law school, he will go on to become a doctor . . . in something. He will continue like this until his absentee parents or Sallie Mae discovers him.