Top 20 All-Time Blawg Posts Yet to Be Written

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Each week about half a dozen lawyers separately ask to meet with me for blawging advice. Typically, they are blawgers who want to write about social media marketing and law practice management, two areas that continue to be curiously absent on the web. Here’s what I tell them.

Make shit up. No one notices. But—and I emphasize this point with aspiring blawgers by looking menacingly out the window—make sure you include a list of things in the title. Because that’s what Mashable does. A top ten this, eleven essential thats, five ways to optimize those. As I think Kevin O’Keefe said recently, “lists are da blawger’s bomb.”

I typically don’t share my work product. But after reading something somewhere by some guy who posts things, I’ve decided to crowd-source my best all-time unwritten blawg posts. Here they are, what I consider the Top 20 All-Time Blawg Posts Yet to Be Written. Feel free to take one and run with it. Or submit your own ideas.

1. The Top Ten Fatal Mistakes You’ve Already Made Today
2. Top 5 Things I Learned While Drunk Off My Ass at the ABA Tech Show
3. 15 Ways to Optimize Email Using AOL and a Slimline Telephone
4. The 8 Essentials of an Electrifying ERISA Practice
5. Top 5 Five Things to Say While Having Sex with Your Client
6. Seven Random Pieces of Shit that Just Popped into My Head
7. Top Ten Ways to Kiss Your Client’s Ass and Act Happy While Doing So
8. Top 20 Ways to Kiss a Partner’s Ass and Act Happy While Doing So
9. The Eight Essentials of Giving Good Googlatio
10. The 565 Ways to Protect Your Data from a Human Stampede
11. 200 Best iPad Apps to Use While Sitting on the Office Crapper
12. Top 9 Ethical Considerations for Kicking Opposing Counsel’s Ass
13. 84 Top Ways to Sleep Through a Deposition
14. The 15 Different Ways to Recreate Billable Time at the End of the Day
15. Six Strategies to Consider If You Piss Yourself While Arguing in Court
16. Seven Essential Tools for Continually Toiling in Obscurity
17. Ten Critical Steps for a Cutting-Edge Barratry Practice
18. Thirteen Ways to Deliver Rich Content by Fax Machine
19. Fifteen Deadly Mistakes Lawyers Make When they Breath, Eat, or Think
20. Twelve Different Ways to Tell a New Lawyer You’re Not Fucking Going Paperless