War on Grandmothers

An Indonesian court has sentenced a British grandmother to death for smuggling cocaine onto the resort island of Bali. Lindsay June Sandiford, 56, was arrested and found guilty of smuggling $2.5 million dollars worth of cocaine in her suitcase, but claimed it was done because a gang who was threatening to hurt her children forced her. The verdict noted that Sandiford damaged the image of Bali as a tourism destination because of the dangerous drugs. The verdict was actually higher than the 15-year sentence prosecutors were demanding because of Ms. Sandiford’s age.

Yikes. Go ahead and check Bali off the list of places to visit. Prosecutors wanted 15 years and the judge is like, “Eh she’s old might as well kill her.” Seriously though, is Lindsay Sandiford the worst drug mule of all time? Putting $2.5 million dollars worth of cocaine in your suitcase? Who are you — George Jung? You have to be more creative than that. I’m pretty sure airport workers can open up suitcases all the time just for fun/personal shopping.

Then again smuggling drugs into Southeast Asia is about the last thing a grandmother is able to do. Here is a list of things Grandmothers are awesome at:

  1. Making Cookies;
  2. Sending you a card on your birthday with a perfectly crisp $2 dollar bill;
  3. Knitting; and
  4. Buying you socks at Christmas

Here is a list of things Grandmothers are not awesome at:

  1. Working a Computer;
  2. Driving;
  3. Smuggling drugs into Southeast Asia; and
  4. Not saying things in a racist manner.

See it’s right there. In between driving and not saying racist things. Grandmothers are not awesome at smuggling drugs. Maybe if Grandma Sandiford watched a little less Wheel of Fortune and a little more Locked Up Abroad she wouldn’t be facing Old Sparky.

Post image courtesy of Shutterstock.

Douglas Stephan is a solo attorney and owner of the Law Office of Douglas A. Stephan. He received his JD in 2010 from Ohio Northern University and BA from Ohio University. His practice is located outside of Dayton, Ohio. You can follow him on Twitter @stephanlaw.


  1. Jill

    January 23, 2013 at 1:53 pm

    Poor old woman!

  2. Daphne Macklin

    January 25, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    That woman doesn’t look 56 she looks like she’s 86. Really dude, age appropriate pictures.

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