Warning Signs You Are a Doc Review Lifer

Now that you’ve met Marty Feldman on the Bottom Rung, hopefully you’re not saying “hey, that guy reminds me of . . . me.” If that’s the case, you may have realized for the very first time that you are, in fact, a document review lifer. Many lifers know what they are because the other document reviewers point it out—it’s obvious. But for some, they move from project to project and remain blissfully unaware of their lifelong status. So, for those of you who may have missed the obvious, here are the top warning signs that you may be a document review lifer.

  1. All of your friends are document reviewers.
  2. You talk longingly about the days when overtime was rampant.
  3. You start all your sentences with “Remember back in 1997?”
  4. You talk about past document review projects like they were Vietnam. “You don’t know, you weren’t there. I was there, man”
  5. You bring your own stapler to projects.
  6. You say things like “That’s what I love about doc review, I keep getting older, but the chicks . . . they stay the same age.”
  7. You’re the guy that is designated to pick up the phone when someone calls the doc review room.
  8. You’ve lived in your car. And have prefilled job applications in the glove compartment.
  9. You’ve been divorced multiple times.
  10. You know the cafeteria schedule. Within a six block area.
  11. You wear a lot of sweaters.
  12. You put up pictures of your dog next to your computer.
  13. You bring an excessive amount of fruit to work every day.
  14. You hate the new computerized time sheets.
  15. You’re on the firm’s benefits plan.
  16. The firm has changed its name at least once since you started on a project.
Bitter Staff is a collection of current and former editors, contributors, and various other lawyers who have written for Bitter Lawyer over the years. Posts include interviews, contests, and other general lawyerly and bitter content.

1 Comment

  1. Miserable associate

    November 30, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    17. You take the bus to work.

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