What Happens When a Crackhead Goes Through Security?

They say, “stupid is as stupid does” and that goes double for William Gillespie. The 29-year-old Erie, Pennsylvania man was arrested for possession of a controlled substance with the intent to deliver and possession of drug paraphernalia, after he tried to enter the county courthouse with more than a dozen bags of crack cocaine. Gillespie was passing through the courthouse metal detector when he emptied the contents of his pockets into a bowl. The Erie County sheriff’s deputy became suspicious when Gillespie placed a pill bottle in the bowl. Upon further investigation, the officer discovered 15 individually packaged crack rocks.

Somebody tell Notorious BIG . . . we have an 11th Crack Commandment.  First of all kids, don’t do crack. It’s bad and nobody likes a crackhead. Second of all, why in the world would you think to bring your crack rocks into the courthouse? I understand that jury duty is kind of boring but they don’t let you take a break to smoke some rocks. Even Tyrone Biggums would think this is a bad idea. I suppose you could have been going to look for some new clients. Just like a courthouse steps lawyer, William Gillespie is leading the crack business with innovative marketing strategies.

P.S. Seriously though can we talk about how bothersome courthouse metal detectors are? I think they just randomly beep at people. I will walk into one courthouse and walk right through. Go to another court across the street and bells and whistles are going off like I won Supermarket Sweep. One courthouse even requires I take off my belt. By the time I get my keys, phone, headphones, change, pens, and other random shit out of my pocket I am 10 minutes late to my hearing. At least I can bill for it I suppose.

P.P.S. Too bad this guy wasn’t flying. TSA would have probably just let this guy roll through. Sure they would have strip-searched him but after that Billy and his pill bottle could have enjoyed his crack high shopping for ridiculous things in a SkyMall.

P.P.P.S. Yea, I’m going triple P.S. – How do you individually wrap crack rocks? Do you put a bow on them? Maybe come up with a nice origami fold to bring some feng shui to the crackhead?

Post image courtesy of Shutterstock.

Douglas Stephan is a solo attorney and owner of the Law Office of Douglas A. Stephan. He received his JD in 2010 from Ohio Northern University and BA from Ohio University. His practice is located outside of Dayton, Ohio. You can follow him on Twitter @stephanlaw.

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