What’s In Your Wallet?

A 42-year-old South African has changed the meaning of a “fat wad” in your wallet. The man, currently unidentified, was jailed after his 18-year-old nephew’s genitals were found in his wallet. Police were investigating about the boy’s disappearance when they discovered a dismembered member in the uncle’s wallet. I guess that is the only place to keep the family jewels. After the uncle was pressed for answers, the body of the nephew was found — albeit in multiple pieces.

Is this the African George Costanza? How big is this guy’s wallet? I have two IDs, four gift cards, three business cards and two bank cards in my wallet and it makes my back all uneven. Throwing discs out of order. Probably will have to make a trip to the fake doctor chiropractor to get straightened out. Meanwhile, this guy is carrying around his nephew’s Huey Lewis and the News like it’s a library card. And there is no chance you can remove the wedding tackle from the wallet. The second you take one thing out of your wallet, it is ruined. A wallet is perfectly stretched but the second you remove a gift card it is all loose because of the extra space. Impossible to keep everything in place and stop IDs from falling out because you removed a library card.  Shit is the worst. Well having your penis and balls chopped off by your uncle is the worst. But still, a loose wallet is no fun.

P.S. This is disgusting.

Post image via Shutterstock.

Douglas Stephan is a solo attorney and owner of the Law Office of Douglas A. Stephan. He received his JD in 2010 from Ohio Northern University and BA from Ohio University. His practice is located outside of Dayton, Ohio. You can follow him on Twitter @stephanlaw.


  1. Jerry

    November 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    Poor sumbeeotch. That kid should have lived and this guy’s cohones should be hung from a tree!

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